I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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