i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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