It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
