Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i think my tv is drunk
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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