Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
