I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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