i can't believe i had my finger in that
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
