Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
