Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I feel great
I just peed on a car
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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