I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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