im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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