oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
