Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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