haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize