i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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