I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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