Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
