i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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