Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
