quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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