You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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