Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
