3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
