maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
