I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
