if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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