How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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