I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
