Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
50% drunk capacity currently
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
