she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
