and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
