i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
