Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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