Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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