so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I love having hate sex.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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