In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
