I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
