U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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