I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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