do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
