He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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