Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
