I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i barfeds in our rink
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
