i barfeds in our rink
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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