Need sex. Gaining weight.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
