forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
