On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
