"it" just moved
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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