fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
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