i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
