I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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