tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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