North Korea, Best Korea!
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
