I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize