i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
