btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
