kristin has been a bad kristin
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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