i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
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