I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
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it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
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She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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