ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Randomize
