I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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