David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
