Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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