Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
