I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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