Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Randomize
