but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
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